The Function of Emotions: What Are They For? Understanding Their Messages and What They Want Us To Do.

Emotions are often misunderstood. We experience them intensely, sometimes welcoming them and other times resisting them with everything we have. But at their core, emotions serve a function—they send us messages and create urges to act. The way we interpret and respond to these messages shapes our well-being.

For example, if we walk into the street and see a car coming, we feel fear. The fear communicates that 1) we are in danger 2) motivates us to move.

While emotions are natural and necessary, it’s important to distinguish between emotions as temporary states and conditions like Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), where emotions become persistent and overwhelming. Understanding how to observe emotions without automatically acting on them can help us navigate life with greater clarity and balance.

Emotions as Messengers

Every emotion carries a message—a signal alerting us to something important about our environment or inner world. These messages have been shaped by evolution, helping humans survive and adapt.

Fear tells us there may be danger. It heightens our awareness and prepares us to respond to threats.
Anger signals that we perceive an injustice or boundary violation. It motivates us to take action or assert ourselves.
Sadness encourages us to slow down, reflect, and seek support.
Joy reinforces experiences that are meaningful and fulfilling.
Guilt alerts us when our actions may have harmed someone, guiding us to make amends.

By noticing these messages, we gain insight into what matters to us. For example, if we feel anger when a friend dismisses our feelings, the message might be that we value being heard and respected. If we feel sadness after leaving a job, it might signal a sense of loss for the role it played in our life.

The Urge to Act

Emotions not only deliver messages but also create behavior urges—the impulses that push us to react. These urges were helpful for survival in the past but are not always beneficial in today’s world.

Fear often urges us to escape or avoid a situation. While this makes sense in real danger, avoiding a difficult conversation out of fear can keep us stuck.
Anger urges us to attack or defend, which can be useful if we need to stand up for ourselves, but acting impulsively can damage relationships.
Sadness urges us to withdraw, which can help us process grief but may also isolate us when we need support.

Recognizing these urges allows us to pause and decide whether acting on them is helpful in the moment.

Emotions vs. Anxiety and Depression

Feeling emotions—sometimes intensely—is a normal part of life. However, emotions differ from mental health conditions like Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and Major Depressive Disorder (MDD).

Anxiety, in its typical form, is a response to perceived threats. But with GAD, worry becomes excessive and persistent, even when no immediate danger exists. The emotional message of fear may become distorted, making everyday uncertainties feel overwhelming.
Sadness is a natural response to loss or disappointment. In MDD, sadness becomes pervasive, and the associated behavior urge—withdrawal—can become chronic, leading to disconnection and a loss of motivation.

While emotions are temporary and responsive to situations, mental health conditions involve patterns of thinking and feeling that persist and interfere with daily life. This distinction is important because it reminds us that while emotions can guide us, they shouldn’t always dictate our actions.

Observing Emotions Without Acting on Them

One of the most powerful skills we can develop is the ability to observe emotions without immediately reacting. Here’s how:

1. Name the Emotion

Simply labeling what we’re feeling—“I’m feeling anxious” or “I notice sadness”—creates distance and prevents us from being consumed by the emotion.

2. Identify the Message

Ask yourself, “What is this emotion trying to tell me?” Is fear signaling a real danger, or is it just discomfort with uncertainty? Is anger highlighting an important boundary, or is it clouding my judgment?

3. Notice the Urge Without Acting

When we feel a strong urge, we can pause and ask, “Is acting on this urge helpful right now?” Sometimes it is—but often, taking a breath and considering alternatives leads to a better outcome.

4. Choose a Response

Instead of automatically reacting, we can decide: Do we want to express anger or take time to cool down? Do we need to withdraw in sadness, or would reaching out to a friend be more beneficial?

By treating emotions as guides rather than dictators, we can navigate life with more intention. Emotions are valuable messengers, but we don’t have to obey every urge they create. With awareness and practice, we can learn to sit with emotions, hear their wisdom, and choose our next step with clarity.