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Supporting a loved one who might be struggling with their mental health can be challenging, especially when you want to help without taking on the role of a therapist. In this post, we'll explore five practical ways you can offer meaningful support while maintaining healthy boundaries. These tips will empower you to be there for your loved one without feeling overwhelmed or overstepping your role.
Offer a listening ear but don’t feel pressured to solve the problem.
Sometimes, the most valuable support you can provide is simply being present and listening. It’s natural to want to fix things for those we care about, but often, people just need a safe space to express their feelings without judgment. By listening, you show empathy and understanding, which can be more powerful than any advice or solution.
Be creative in how you provide support. Your loved one might need to get out for something fun or they may need you to help them with chores or a task that feels overwhelming.
Support doesn’t always have to look the same; it can be as simple as a walk in the park, a movie night, or lending a hand with everyday tasks that feel daunting. Understanding their unique needs and offering help in different ways shows that you’re there for them, no matter what. Sometimes, a small gesture can make a big difference in lightening their emotional load.
Avoiding leaving off with a “let me know if you need anything”.
While well-intentioned, this can feel overwhelming or uncertain for someone who’s struggling, making them less likely to reach out. Sometimes this can be too vague and people might feel guilty or uncertain about following up. Instead provide some information about when and how you might be able to jump in with support. Offer specific ways you can help, like suggesting a time when you’re available to chat or offering assistance with a particular task they’ve mentioned. For example, “I work from home on Friday;gimme a call if you need to chat, you mentioned you could use some conversation” or “You mentioned you were having a difficult time with_______, let's plan a time we’re free and I can help you with that!”. This approach not only removes the pressure from them to initiate but also shows that you’re genuinely willing to be there when they need you. By being clear and proactive, you make it easier for them to accept and reach out for your support.
Validate their feelings.
You might not understand how they feel, or imagine you might feel differently if you were in the situation. The good news is we can still validate loved one’s feelings without having that same feeling. There are three important steps. First, noting or asking how they are feeling. Step two, validate how it can be really challenging to have that feeling (you might not have been angry about what they’re angry about but you’ve felt anger before, and know it can be hard). Finally, provide them the space to have the feeling. When we stop feeling so pressured to fix a feeling for someone, it can be alot easier to just be with them in it in the moment. Step four, which is optional and should only be done if appropriate, is help with solution finding if appropriate (You might ask, do you just need me to listen or would it be helpful to work on some solutions?).
Gently suggesting they seek out professional support, if they haven’t already.
While your care and support are invaluable, sometimes what your loved one needs most is the expertise of a professional. Approach the topic with sensitivity, acknowledging their feelings and emphasizing that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. You might say something like, ‘I care about you and I think a therapist could really help you navigate what you’re going through.’ Offering to help them find resources or even accompanying them to an appointment can make the idea feel less daunting. Encouraging professional help shows that you’re committed to their well-being in a meaningful way.
Supporting a loved one through mental health challenges is an act of love that requires patience, understanding, and clear boundaries. You're already supporting for this person in your life, simply by showing up and if you're reading this blog to help you be a more effective support, you're taking an important step in deepening your understanding and commitment to their well-being, Your role is to be a caring friend or family member, not a therapist. Balancing your support with respect for your loved ones boundaries and your own well-being ensures that both you and your loved one can navigate these challenges together in a healthy and sustainable way.
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