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Stop Focusing On Body Positivity

Writer's picture: Emily DeMalto Emily DeMalto

Updated: Jul 29, 2024

Now that I have your attention, I do want to talk about something that gets overlooked when discussing body positivity. Body neutrality. Body neutrality is more than just a pit stop on the way to body positivity. It is a critical foundation for sustainable change to body dysmorphia or poor body image.



Ok, so why is it sustainable and why should we focus on it?


Neutrality can feel much more attainable at first. Especially for people who have felt negatively about their bodies for a long time, grow up or live in a culture that glorifies or encourages certain body types, or perceived criticism of their bodies as children, it can feel unrealistic and discouraging to reach for “loving” your body.


Neutrality provides a place that might not feel so unattainable.


“The body-neutral approach leans toward the belief that it doesn’t matter if you think your body is beautiful or not. Your value is not tied to your body nor does your happiness depend on what you look like. A body-positive approach says you are beautiful no matter what.” (Susan Albers, Psy.D, What’s the Difference Between Body Positivity and Body Neutrality?, 2022). When we can look beyond whether we perceive our bodies as beautiful or not we can see all of the other things we can do with our bodies.


How our body looks might be something that is out of our control or that turns into something unhealthy for us to control, neutrality allows us to turn our focus to our own values rather than those that might be imposed on us and appreciate how our bodies allow us to live in congruence with those values.


For example, appreciating that your arms allow you to create and nurture a garden, your legs can carry you to exciting places, mouths that can speak out against injustice–whether those things meet a certain aesthetic matters less when the focus is not placed on the appearance of something and whether you perceive it as beautiful.


Neutrality also provides a base for when change happens.


Seeing our bodies change can be really hard, especially if you struggle with body image. If you focus on building a strong base of neutrality, it can feel much easier to fall back on neutrality when you notice changes then it can be to accept changes with positivity, at first. This can help reduce the negative self talk you might have about your body overall. In this way, body positivity can feel more like toxic positivity. “Some feel that it blames people for how they feel based on their mindset. It can also push people into trying to feel something that they don’t (Susan Albers, Psy.D, What’s the Difference Between Body Positivity and Body Neutrality?, 2022).


Neutrality can be based on objectiveness, rather then subjectivity and cultural messages.


Both positivity and negativity are reliant upon your own conceptualizations about yourself, what messages you’ve internalized, etc. “Society is reflective of what our culture and environments teach us to believe — to dislike our bodies for so many reasons. Body positivity wouldn’t even be needed if we appreciated and found all bodies inherently beautiful” (Susan Albers, Psy.D, What’s the Difference Between Body Positivity and Body Neutrality?, 2022)." While it’s true that we shouldn't need to struggle with imposed standards, expectations, and a world that is unkind to those that don’t fit within the standards of what the current society has defined as acceptable, this is often the truth and, as a result, people struggle significantly with body image. Neutrality can take the emphasis away from what the body isn’t and view it from a less black and white or binary perspective.


What does body neutrality sound like?

Here are some examples of what body neutral affirmations might sound like:


I am more than just my appearance, weight, and shape.

My body is allowed to just be without critique from myself or others.

My body is only part of who I am, not my whole self.

My worth doesn't depend on how I look or how much I weigh.

I am inherently a worthy and lovable person.

It's okay for my body image to change throughout my life.

I don't need to feel attractive in my own skin all the time to enjoy my life and relationships.

I will respect my body.

I can respect my body without liking the way it is.

I will not punish my body for being.

I don’t have to pause my life until my body is a certain shape or size.

I am grateful to have a body.

I am allowed to accept my body exactly as it is right now.

I appreciate what my body allows me to do.

My body works hard and deserves compassion.

My body deserves to be taken care of.

My relationship with my body is no one's business but my own.


These are just some examples of body neutral statements. There are so many resources for more options.to find statements that resonate for you.


Creating change: From negative body image to body neutrality.


Neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life, enabling learning, memory, recovery from brain injuries, and changes in thought processes. This adaptability includes synaptic plasticity (strengthening or weakening synapses), structural plasticity (physical changes in brain structure), and functional plasticity (shifting functions to undamaged areas). It can be harnessed through practices like mindfulness meditation, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), learning new skills, and flexible thinking, all of which promote the formation of new neural pathways. Enhancing neuroplasticity involves staying mentally active, exercising, getting enough sleep, maintaining social connections, and managing stress. This process supports healthier thinking patterns and overall mental well-being. This can be challenging due to ingrained habits, the persistence of negative thought patterns, the difficulty of maintaining consistency in beneficial practices, and the impact of chronic stress and mental health issues, which can hinder the brain's ability to adapt and change.


With consistent application of thought flexibility, and challenging negative body thoughts, we can slowly shift away from negative and embrace neutrality.

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